"I am a runner; therefore, I run."

December 21, 2018 1 Comment

I have always been that person who was afraid to show the world who she was. I never thought that I could be those people; I didn’t belong to the risk-taking group, nor the crowd that went out of their way to follow their dreams and passions. I was the person who blended in with the crowds, not wanting to be seen, but wanting so much more out of life than what I was doing.

Somewhere along the way, I found the sport of running, and things magically began to change. There was this unforeseen shift that was unknown to me.

I wasn’t an active person, and wait for it… I disliked the outdoors. I was in my late 20s when I finally first decided to give running a try simply because I wanted to shed some pounds. I had no idea that this whole running community existed, no desire to ever run a race, never intended to make running my thing, nor strive for personal growth through running. Boy was I in for a surprise. My dad, who is a runner and had already ran the LA Marathon more than twice, decided to start running with me one day, and he basically told me that we were going to start training for a half-marathon. I thought he was crazy. I could barely run for 25 minutes, let alone even think about running for more than an hour. But guess what? I toed the lined among the crowd of people early in the morning and crossed that finish line 13.1 miles later. What I thought was impossible, became a reality. Quickly thereafter getting my toes wet, I dived deep into the waters of the running world.

The goals then started to accumulate. The excitement was there. And the pure joy of movement outside is where I found peace. It’s also the same place where I found hardships. Like with any other goal, there is a lot of work that goes into making things happen. There are the ups and downs, the days when I feel like I could do this forever, and the days when I question why. Why do I do this?

I am a runner; therefore, I run. It’s a place that allows me to set goals and to push myself to achieve them. It’s the space in my life where I get to see how far I can push my limits. And it’s also the place in my world that humbles me. It has taught me so much: how to keep going when things get tough, how to allow myself some grace when I didn’t reach a certain time in a race, how to enjoy the simple moments in life, and so much more. It’s because of these reasons that I continue to strive for my best.

Running, although it’s very personal and something I do a lot by myself, I honestly have to say that the running community is the best. They are hands down so supportive and always there when you fall. I have met so many great people through running who inspire me day in and day out striving to be their best.

There isn’t a time machine to allow myself to go back in time and tell my younger self to not be scared. To not live in a shell, but to go after the life that she wants. That vision that is inside your head is possible. It takes time. It takes patience. Strength. It takes learning from failure; it takes wanting to feel more alive. It takes believing in oneself. Just because I cross another 5k, half-marathon, or marathon line and that specific goal has come to an, my journey does not stop there. It's another chance to grow some more, move again, breath again, and live more and more life.

-Nicole Castillo

Instagram: @seeenseerun